Cultivate Learning's Podcast Channel

Showing Up Episode 5: Sustainable Well-being

March 23, 2022 Cultivate Learning

This episode is all about sustainable well-being. We’ll be chatting with Areebah from YouthLine, Tai Mattox from Space Between, and Kahae Rikeman from YouthLine.

Learning Objective: To understand the importance of well-being and to learn how to support well-being in yourself and in young people.

Guests:

Showing Up Episode 5: Sustainable Well-being

[00:00:00.00] [MUSIC PLAYING] 

[00:00:18.50] ANNOUNCER: Please note that Showing Up features themes of trauma, mental health, and resilience, which may be triggering for some. So please, listen to your body's cues, take breaks, and use self regulation strategies. Don't hesitate to ask for help. No issue is too big or too small. 

[00:00:37.71] You can always reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800 273 8255 for support. They will be available to talk with you and connect you to local mental health resources. 

[00:00:49.13] [MUSIC PLAYING] 

[00:00:58.21] SOPHIE BIDDLE: Hi, everyone. Welcome to Showing Up. I'm Sophie, and I use she/her pronouns-- 

[00:01:04.07] REBECCA WONG: And I'm Rebecca, and I also use she/her pronouns. 

[00:01:07.28] SOPHIE: We're both part of the trauma informed care team at Cultivate Learning at the University of Washington. 

[00:01:13.08] Welcome to Showing Up. This is a time where we talk about trauma informed care practices for Expanded Learning opportunities or ELO programs. ELO programs include basically anywhere young people spend their time outside of the typical school day classroom setting, like after school care summer camps and skill based programs. 

[00:01:33.08] REBECCA: Before we get started, I think it's time for a pup-date. So this is a little segment where we just give a little update about our dog. Sophie and I both have little poodle mixes-- 

[00:01:44.63] SOPHIE: We adore. 

[00:01:45.88] REBECCA: Yeah, which we adore and bond over. 

[00:01:50.12] And yeah I guess, my pup-date today is that I was out of town for a little bit and my dog, his name is Gus, stayed with my partner's parents and he got to hang out with his best friend, Leopold, which is a cat. And I was just getting videos of them like hunting bunnies together in the yard, which was adorable. 

[00:02:12.14] SOPHIE: Rebecca, that's amazing. 

[00:02:14.89] REBECCA: I think especially amazing because, for the folks who don't know, like, Gus and Leopold are about the same size. 

[00:02:20.77] REBECCA: Yeah he's-- Gus is like an 18 pound dog, and Leopold is like a 16 pound like fluffy gray cat. 

[00:02:30.08] SOPHIE: I feel like this is a buddy movie in the making, honestly. If somebody has an idea for that, please send it in. 

[00:02:38.44] REBECCA: Sophie, what's your pup-date today? 

[00:02:40.76] SOPHIE: My pup-date is that my puppy, Monty, who is officially six months old, has really gotten into the stage of puppydom slash teenager life. And can be a bit of a handful, but he kind of reminded me about how much of a sweetheart he is. I had a really long day the other day and looked at him and was just like, please can you be chill? 

[00:03:09.74] And I don't-- I think he understood me, like he literally got on the bed and I turned on a Harry Potter movie. I just needed a little like comfort movie, and he snuggled with me for like 45 minutes. 

[00:03:20.68] REBECCA: Oh. 

[00:03:22.08] SOPHIE: So nice. Turns out he's really enchanted by the Harry Potter soundtrack. His little head kept bobbing up and down as he heard the owl sounds. It was very funny. 

[00:03:31.75] REBECCA: Oh my gosh. 

[00:03:32.96] [LAUGHTER] 

[00:03:35.40] SOPHIE: That is how Monty helped me sustain my well-being was that he snuggled and watched Harry Potter with me after a long day and I was really grateful. 

[00:03:44.71] REBECCA: Yes, today's episode is about well-being and I think we'll talk about mindfulness, also. 

[00:03:51.73] SOPHIE: We are talking about the importance of sustainable well-being and I'm really excited about all of our guests today. They all share really great strategies for supporting our own being, and also ways to foster the well-being in the young people that we work with. 

[00:04:06.87] REBECCA: Absolutely. And it's such a foundational piece of providing any type of care work, or just being a human in general. Finding ways to support your well-being, but today, we'll be chatting with Areebah from Youthline, Tai Maddox from Space Between, and Kahae Rikeman, also from Youthline. 

[00:04:25.34] So let's jump in with Areebah. 

[00:04:27.85] SOPHIE: Hi, Areebah. Thanks so much for being here. Can you tell us a little bit about you, about Youthline, and your role as a youth line volunteer? 

[00:04:37.55] AREEBAH: Yeah, for sure. So, my name's Areebah. I use she/her pronouns. I started volunteering at Youthline a little bit over a year ago. So Youthline is a crisis line for teens and it is run by teens. 

[00:04:51.88] And so, my role as a Youthline volunteer is that me along with other volunteers, we take contacts and we're usually the ones responding to people who reach out to us, whether that's by chat, text, or phone call. And our role is just to provide support and resources. If needed, we have other people jump in. 

[00:05:15.73] I think it was-- I want to say like-- my first or second shift. 

[00:05:22.83] So I [INAUDIBLE] before we really go into taking contacts. We have a lot of shadow and group shifts, and so this was one of my main first shifts on my own. And I had this high risk contact. 

[00:05:38.94] They were really going through a lot, and I wasn't very confident that I was doing very well. But throughout the entire time, I had so much support from my supervisors and other volunteers and specifically, [INAUDIBLE] volunteer. But what really, like, hit me was that at the end of that conversation, I remember that contact saying to me like, thank you so much for listening. 

[00:06:02.55] This was really helpful. I feel like it's the first time anyone has really understood me. And I think after having such an emotionally charged conversation and talking about so many things that was going on for them, having them say that to me and knowing how much they've struggled to talk to other people in the past, that was so impactful for me. 

[00:06:21.42] And, I think, after that, I felt so much more connected in a way, I guess, with each contact and I felt like, OK, when I'm saying these things, I'm not just saying them for no reason and this is actually something that they find helpful. Considering this was on my first or second official shift, just that was really like-- Wow, I'm actually doing something. 

[00:06:44.57] SOPHIE: Yeah that was amazing. I got chills. 

[00:06:46.41] REBECCA: Yeah, who's cutting onions next to me? 

[00:06:52.45] SOPHIE: So in this episode, we're talking a bit about well-being and we're also talking about the importance of community connections and well-being. How have you seen this on Youthline? 

[00:07:01.60] AREEBAH: Oh, I've seen so much of this on Youthline. I think especially in the last year where everyone's been in the pandemic and at home, and there's been that lack of community connections, and not as much of focus on well-being. I think any time that contacts reach out to us, I see that what they really need in that moment is connection to others or how to better take care of themselves in such a stressful environment. All the contacts that reach out to us, regardless of what specifically they're reaching out to us about, it seems to be a common thing where, right now, they don't have that support. And that is something that they're looking for in reaching out to us. 

[00:07:44.99] SOPHIE: Yeah, absolutely I think we're all really craving connection, especially in this particularly stressful last almost two years at this point. What are some things that you've learned about yourself from providing this peer to peer mental health support? 

[00:08:00.20] AREEBAH: I think, in the past year, I've definitely found that I've been able to tell when I need a break or if this is too much for me, or things like that. I think I've had a better sense of my boundaries and me as a person and what I can do and what I can't. I just think working with people and making sure that they are able to do that-- you definitely, if you didn't know before, learn how to do that for yourself, as well. 

[00:08:25.19] REBECCA: I think that's such an important thing to know that I still struggle with a lot. Like, where am I boundaries? So I think that's so great that you as a youth volunteer are already learning those things. What are some strategies that you use to foster your own well-being besides that? 

[00:08:42.43] AREEBAH: I learned so much about doing self-care and how to take care of myself in this past year. And so sometimes when I've had a particularly hard shift, I'll have like a self-care routine when I get home. Obviously there's like variations, but I always make sure that I've eaten and drink enough. 

[00:09:03.23] Depending on what I need in that moment, sometimes I'll call a friend or I'll talk to my mom or maybe I don't need to talk to someone in that moment. I just need to be with myself then I'll like watch a movie or something, but just really depending on what I need in that moment. 

[00:09:20.86] SOPHIE: I love that you are really conscientious of checking in with yourself and adapting the care that you give yourself based on where you are at a given moment. There's a lot of wisdom there. Thank you so much for being with us Areebah and thanks for sharing all of this great stuff about your experience as a Youthline volunteer. 

[00:09:40.57] AREEBAH: Yeah, thank you guys so much for having me here. 

[00:09:43.13] [MUSIC PLAYING] 

[00:09:49.42] SOPHIE: All right, it is time for our word of the week. 

[00:09:53.14] REBECCA: So we're going to share a vocabulary word every episode to help build shared terminology for talking about trauma informed care practices. Today we'll share our definition of the term "well-being." So well-being is a sense of balance and autonomy in your life so that you can rest and do things that you need to do and connect with people who nurture and cherish you. So that includes just different things about health in general, like your physical, emotional, and mental health. 

[00:10:18.35] SOPHIE: I think about well-being as part of self awareness and, Rebecca, like you said, our ability to sustain ourselves and give ourselves a broader capacity to handle all of that day to day stuff that comes up. So, for example, recording this podcast alone, that idea of made me kind of nervous and so I chose to nurture my own well-being by roping in a person who makes me feel grounded and I like to have a lot of fun with, which is my fantastic co-host Rebecca Wong. 

[00:10:49.17] REBECCA: Aw. 

[00:10:50.61] SOPHIE: So that is what well-being means to us. 

[00:10:54.47] [MUSIC PLAYING] 

[00:11:00.44] REBECCA: So our next guest is Tai Maddox. Tai is from a wonderful organization in Seattle called Space Between. Welcome, Tai. 

[00:11:07.92] TAI MADDOX: Thank you. 

[00:11:09.23] REBECCA: Yeah. Would you mind introducing yourself, sharing your pronouns, and telling us a little bit about your organization and maybe where the name, "Space Between" comes from? 

[00:11:19.65] TAI: Yes, I would love to. Thank you. First of all, thank you for having me. 

[00:11:23.56] My name is Tai Maddox. My pronouns are she and her. And I am the Director of Community Engagement for a small but mighty nonprofit here in Seattle called Space Between. And we bring healing practices to school communities through the use of mindfulness. Our goal is really to help transform school communities with mindfulness practices. 

[00:11:44.73] And so, we work, not only in the classrooms, teaching kids different mindfulness practices, but we also believe it's really important to work with the adults that are there to serve the kids. So we also offer professional development and workshops to educators, administrators, and other adult support professionals. And the name, "Space Between" our organization comes from a quote from Viktor E. Frankl. 

[00:12:09.24] And the quote is "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our Freedom." And so, essentially, with mindfulness practices, we are building that space between stimulus and response. And in that space, again, we have the ability to respond rather than to react to whatever is coming our way. 

[00:12:38.31] SOPHIE: That is lovely. And you mentioned mindfulness, can you share what your definition of mindfulness is, too? 

[00:12:44.80] TAI: Yes, absolutely. So the definition of mindfulness that we work with at Space Between comes from-- we kind of took two definitions. One from Ruth King, who's the author of Mindful of Race, and then another from Dr. Christopher Willard. He is a psychologist at Harvard University and has authored many books on mindfulness. 

[00:13:02.82] And so the quote that-- the definition that we work with is that, mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment with curiosity and compassion. And then the next piece of that is, so we can choose what to do next. Really, anything can be mindfulness as long as you're paying attention to the present moment. 

[00:13:21.19] So as long as you're paying attention while you're doing it. So that could be whether or not you're washing dishes. Whether or not you're taking a shower. So, for example, if you're washing dishes, how-- paying attention to how my wrists turn when I turn on the water, or paying attention to the temperature of the water and the feel of the water as it hits my hands. 

[00:13:40.80] Paying attention to the circular motion when I'm washing the dish, that is a mindfulness practice. Walking can be a mindfulness practice. Anything, really, can be mindful as long as you're paying attention to the present moment. 

[00:13:53.71] And while that seems easy, oftentimes in today's society, especially Western society, multitasking is highly prized and it's hard to be mindful when you're multitasking. So another way to think of mindfulness is single tasking. So focusing on one thing at a time or paying attention to the present moment. 

[00:14:14.98] SOPHIE: I really love the way that you all frame mindfulness. And I know that you and I were talking earlier about how mindfulness curriculum can sometimes be used as a behavior management tool, and I love that you all really framed this as an invitation for young people and adults to find a sense of autonomy for themselves. 

[00:14:34.56] Like there's this self-compassion, and then an ability to make an active choice. And I'm curious if you could speak a little bit more to that in general, the importance of adults and young people engaging in these practices together. 

[00:14:46.16] TAI: So it's really important, again, as adults, if we think about the idea that we're co-creating the environment, you know, what are we bringing to the table? Like, what is our emotional state? What I like to say is that we are not doing mindfulness to the students, we're doing mindfulness with the students. 

[00:15:03.61] And so, with the pandemic and all of the things that have been happening in the world with the racial unrest, people losing their jobs. In this moment, as an adult, if I am unsettled, if I am feeling anxiety, how is that going to affect how I show up for a young person? 

[00:15:20.46] REBECCA: So you mention also about having providers have their own practice. And I really, really love that because I think that's so important. What are some things they can do to improve their own being or incorporate these practices into their lives? 

[00:15:34.62] TAI: If a student or a youth that we're working with is dysregulated and really upset, that's not the time to introduce a new mindfulness practice. So the idea is, if we are practicing with them on a regular basis, when a youth is dysregulated or even if we are, if we've been practicing, it's easier for us to access these tools. There is research that shows that in school communities, even when there's not direct mindfulness instruction for the students, if the adults are practicing mindfulness, the research shows that can still make a positive difference for the students. 

[00:16:10.08] I like to say that two minutes counts. So whether or not someone is looking to have a consistent exercise routine or a consistent mindfulness routine, oftentimes we think, I need an hour to do this, or I need 30 minutes to do this. 

[00:16:23.71] And while 30 minutes would be great, if all you have is two minutes for a breathing practice, or two minutes for listening practice, that counts and that can really make a difference. So consistency over duration. Rhythm and repetition. So if you can make an effort to practice mindfulness maybe two minutes a day for five days a week, versus on Thursday I'm going to do a 30 minute breathing practice at three. It's much more likely to stick a mindfulness practice if you do it with consistency. 

[00:16:57.81] SOPHIE: There's just lots of different ways that we can incorporate these practices into our lives, and I'm curious to hear any tips or advice you have for adults, like teachers, youth development workers, that are looking to incorporate that into their programs and help foster the well-being of the young people that they work with. 

[00:17:16.41] TAI: One of the more accessible ways to work with mindfulness is by using our senses, which is why there are a lot of breathing practices. Doing a quick breathing practice of putting our hand on our belly and when we Inhale feeling our belly expand, and when we exhale, feeling our belly contract, we can do that together as a class or as a group, using it as a transition when you're in front of youth. 

[00:17:41.97] OK, before we get ready to do this one exercise, let's do a breathing practice together. You don't even have to call it mindfulness, that's the other thing. 

[00:17:50.10] REBECCA: I love that. I think those are all really helpful, like little nugget. Thank you so much for being here, Tai. It was wonderful having you. 

[00:17:57.69] TAI: Thank you. I enjoyed being here. Thank you for the invitation. 

[00:18:00.41] [MUSIC PLAYING] 

[00:18:07.13] GIRL: Youthline is a teen to teen crisis support and helpline. We're open from [? 4 to ?] 10 PM Pacific Standard Time, and we're available to talk about any crises. At Youthline, we believe no crisis is too big or too small. 

[00:18:19.87] Whether you're going through a breakup or having suicidal thoughts, please reach out to us. To learn more, go to T-H-E-Y-O-U-T-H-L-I-N-E .org, Theyouthline.org 

[00:18:32.81] [MUSIC PLAYING] 

[00:18:39.38] SOPHIE: Hi, Kahae. It's so great to have you with us. Can you tell us a little bit about you, about Youthline, and your role at Youthline? 

[00:18:46.75] KAHAE RIKEMAN: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. I use she/her pronouns. 

[00:18:50.87] I work as the School Suicide Prevention and Wellness Program Manager at Youthline. Youthline is a peer to peer mental health support and crisis line for young folks who are needing mental health support. And so, what we do is we train youth volunteers from the ages of 18 to about 20, 21 in different crisis intervention skills. 

[00:19:12.82] And then they text, chat, talk on the phone, or email with young folks that reach out to our services in need of help. They are always supervised by at least one, but usually two or three master's level mental health clinicians. And so they're able to reach out for support when they need to. 

[00:19:31.51] And then, my role at Youthline specifically is in our outreach and education department, where I'm engaging with communities, telling about what-- talking about what we do. And so the main part of my job at Youthline is to help interface with schools that are trying to write suicide prevention plans and talking to them about how to do that in the best, most trauma informed and equity centered way possible. 

[00:19:54.68] REBECCA: Thank you. I love that. I think that's such like a needed thing in schools and out of schools. I love the peer to peer support that Youthline provides, also. And obviously supporting youth, providing that peer to peer support, can be complex and delicate. Can you tell us more about some of the strategies that you use to prepare young people to volunteer on the crisis lines? 

[00:20:15.49] KAHAE: The safety and the wellness of our volunteers are number one for us and Youthline. And so because they are a vital part of what we do, and they offer such amazing support to their peers, we want to make sure that they are also feeling well enough to participate in this work. And so the first thing that we do when they onboard with us is that they go through a really long training about over 60 hours now. 

[00:20:39.58] So, for example, there is a section in our curriculum about relationships and breakups. There's also a section about supporting somebody-- or multiple sections about supporting people that are having thoughts about suicide or struggling with self harm. And so we're able to answer their questions in a low stress environment where they can ask all of the what ifs that they want. 

[00:21:01.87] Another part of their training is what we call role points and shadow shifts. And so, before they're ever actually talking to a human being that is reaching out to us in the [? process, ?] they are working with volunteers that have been with us for a little while to role play what a call sounds like, and what it might feel like to talk to people about these different topics. 

[00:21:21.82] Something like addiction challenges is oftentimes something that people choose to role play with us. And so, we do that and then we also give them an opportunity to shadow where they watch other volunteers do the work and are able to see what that actually looks like in action. 

[00:21:37.75] That's all before they actually end up answering a phone on their own. 

[00:21:41.49] SOPHIE: That's awesome. It sounds like the time spent together preparing everybody just helps everyone feel grounded. I think everyone who's familiar with care work, which I would include this in like taking care of other people in some capacity, is familiar with the phenomenon of secondary trauma and those feelings of burnout. 

[00:22:01.39] I'm curious how you support the youth volunteers who are likely hearing some pretty heavy stuff. 

[00:22:07.60] KAHAE: Absolutely, so one of the major things that we talk about with our youth volunteers when they're training, in how to support the contacts to our line, is that we want to identify a self-care plan for the person that we're talking to. And so, what we do is we relate that right back to how do we identify a self-care plan for ourselves. We want you to recognize, am I feeling safe and well enough to go into this supportive relationship with this person. 

[00:22:34.45] If not, then how do we compassionately connect them to other kinds of help, so that person still gets help but we don't feel like all the weight is on our shoulders to help that person. 

[00:22:44.02] They are always welcome to reach out to us as supportive adults in their life and talk to us about some challenges going on in their personal lives, and we encourage them to take breaks as needed from doing this really heavy work. 

[00:22:55.99] We know that even one supportive adult in a young person's life is a major protective factor against suicide. And so, we encourage all of our volunteers to identify who are the supportive adults in [? your ?] life. And the really lovely part of my job is that I get to be another supportive adult in that young person's life that's volunteering with us. 

[00:23:15.44] REBECCA: That's great. I love that there's that level of modeling there. Like, you are that supportive person for your volunteers and they can kind of encourage the people they're talking with to find those supportive adults in their life. I also love what you said about creating a self-care plan for ourselves, and our episode today is about well-being, so I'm curious. What are some strategies that you use to foster your own well-being? 

[00:23:37.55] KAHAE: So, I take really good care to try my hardest to leave work at work and to leave home at home so that I can have that balance. And then also, things like making sure that I'm checking in with myself. How am I feeling? 

[00:23:52.02] And if my well-being is not at the point where I feel like I can support others, to take time off, to take time away from my work so that I can recharge and feel able to help others. 

[00:24:04.47] SOPHIE: Kahae, I loved that reflection about how, ultimately, this is about being self-reflective and checking in with ourselves, because I think that's sort of at the core of being a trauma informed educator or program manager or really just person in the world is that we can ultimately be a safe person for other people to relate to if we are aware of ourselves and able to help take care of ourselves and seek support when we need it. 

[00:24:27.67] So thank you so much I just-- I thought this is such a really rich interview and we really appreciate your time. 

[00:24:34.74] KAHAE: Thank you so much for having me. 

[00:24:38.06] [MUSIC PLAYING] 

[00:24:52.70] SOPHIE: Strategy spotlight is a time for us to share one thing that you could implement in your program or classroom. Our strategy spotlight, today, is a mindful listening and grounding practice guided by a Tai from Space Between. Take it away, tie Tai. 

[00:25:07.07] TAI: So wherever you are I invite you to make yourself nice and comfortable. So having a strong back and a soft front. As my colleague likes to say, sitting upright, but not uptight. And remembering whenever you practice that you always have choice. If you'd like, you can keep your eyes open. Or, if you'd like to rest your eyes, look down at the floor and soften your gaze. 

[00:25:42.44] Or, if it feels comfortable for you, I invite you to close your eyes and begin to bring your attention to any sounds you may hear outside of your space. 

[00:25:57.91] So, perhaps you notice a car passing by or a plane overhead. Settling in and paying attention to any sounds outside of your space and maybe you make a mental note of what you hear. And then fold your awareness to any sounds you may hear inside of your space. 

[00:26:31.31] So, perhaps you hear the sound of another person. Or the sound of a television or something else. 

[00:26:41.22] 

[00:26:44.87] Becoming aware with curiosity of any sounds inside of your space. And then folding further inward to become aware of any sounds you may hear in your own body. So perhaps you can hear your stomach growling, or your heart beating. 

[00:27:11.40] 

[00:27:15.88] Simply noticing with curiosity and compassion, any sounds in your own body. And then I'm going to turn my voice off as we sit in silence for 15 seconds as we pay attention to any sounds we may hear around us. And when you feel ready, I invite you to lift your gaze or gently blink open your eyes. 

[00:27:53.04] 

[00:27:56.90] SOPHIE: Thank you, Tai. That was beautiful. 

[00:27:58.60] [MUSIC PLAYING] 

[00:28:07.62] As we wrap up this episode, we'll leave you with a few reflection questions. Part of building a trauma informed care practice is building our own self-awareness so that we can better show up for the young people in our lives. 

[00:28:19.71] REBECCA: Our first question is, what do you do to support your own well-being, right now? Have you learned any new strategies that you can incorporate into your own life, and if so, what are they? And lastly, how do you think you can foster well-being in young people? 

[00:28:35.13] SOPHIE: For those of you listening that are working directly with young people, either professionally or in your personal life, we see the really important work you're doing and hope that this episode gives you some fuel to continue. 

[00:28:47.07] In the show notes, we've included some additional books and professional development materials, along with links to Youthline and Space Between. Thank you so much for joining us today. Please take good care of yourself and know that your well-being matters to us. Even just taking two minutes to sit and breathe can make a difference. 

[00:29:05.82] REBECCA: This podcast was produced by Cultivate Learning at the University of Washington with funding from The Ballmer Group. We'd like to thank our media producers, Tifa Tomb and Ryan Henriksen, and our graphic designer, Tami Tolpa. You can find more of Cultivate Learning's work by going to Cultivate Learning dot UW dot edu. Thanks for being with us. 

[00:29:25.55] SOPHIE: Bye. 

[00:29:26.50] [MUSIC PLAYING]